On Parts Work…*

Lately, I’ve been sinking myself into Richard Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems (IFS)/AKA Parts Work, and marrying it with my favorite therapeutic modality, Narrative Therapy.

I’ve had formal training on Narrative Therapy, and when I learned what IFS was all about it felt like a good fit with Narrative. Turns out there are even research articles on this exact topic! My satisfied part was happy with the validation that both modalities can work together - ha. And so, I have read every book I can get on IFS (there are so many!), see an IFS therapist every two weeks (only because she’s very pricey - ha - thankfully my out of network deductible was finally met), and began jotting down Narrative type questions for the various internal parts that show up for my clients - depressed, guilty, angry, anxious, irritated, peaceful, suicidal, etc. Plus, I signed up for an 8 week IFS training program for therapists that starts at the end of this month. I canNOT wait! As I’m new to this work, I’ve been treading carefully as I introduce high level IFS techniques with my clients; I don’t want to activate any internal parts that might disrupt the system in an unhealthy and un-therapeutic way.

So what is IFS you ask?

Think of the movie Inside Out - all the parts of the main character’s personality are represented - anger, sadness, joy, etc. They all live inside the main character’s mind and have distinct roles, ways of being, and narratives…and they are all important parts of the character. Richard Schwartz, a systemic family therapist, developed IFS in the 1980s and it has taken off from there with intensive therapist training through the IFS Institute, training and books by Frank Anderson (a psychiatrist therapist) and Bonnie Weiss (she’s the one doing the training starting this month). The goal of IFS is to get all the ‘problem’ parts to un-blend from Self energy - that wise, confident, calm, rational, curious, collaborative, and compassionate energy that only works for the good of us. Parts often have ages and stories (Narrative!) that drive their behavior, often pulling us out of Self energy.

Every morning for the last six months or so, and as part of my morning pages practice, I check in with my parts to see what’s going on upstairs and who’s the loudest (insecure, anxious, the inner critic, and sad are usually the ones that want my attention). I then engage in a written conversation with the part to let it know that I see it, I hear it, I find out what it needs, thank it for showing up, and then ask if it will take a step back to find a safe space for the day so that Erin can drive the bus. My parts have been complying a lot more easily the longer I’ve been doing this practice. It’s been amazing for work for me as I unpack all the parts that developed when I was a kiddo.

The following are some questions I might ask myself and my clients…

What parts are activated right now? - sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, irritation, etc.

Where do you feel that part in your body (e.g., rapid heart rate, stomach pain, back pain)? Can you breathe into that part to give it some air? Breath work is be the best way to connect to connect our mind to our body and vice versa.

Can YOU (Self energy?) ask the part the following questions?

- What is the intent of that part?

- Why did it show up in whatever moment?

- What does this part protect?

- What does it want you to know?

- What does that part fear?

- What does it need? (to be seen, heard, loved, to be right, stay safe?)

- What has influenced this part? When did that begin? How old is this part?

- Can you ask that part to step way from center stage? Is it willing to do that? That’s okay if it doesn’t, just tell it that you appreciate it.

- What do YOU think about that part? How do you feel about it?

- What information can you obtain that might help you accept that part?

- How can you help support that part when it wants to bubble up?

- Can you talk for the part, not from the part?

- Can you send that part some love and let it know that YOU have got this, you can take care of this?

- What would be required for this part to un-blend from Self energy? (What else shows up when you think about that? What other protectors are wanting to protect this part?)

- Breathe in, breathe out, can you keep that part in a safe space? What does that safe space look like for this particular part?

Next steps might include…

Journaling about this part and what you learned about it in your inner dialogue.

Paying attention to when this part shows up in your daily life - what brings it to the forefront? Can you be curious about what’s happening when a part shows up? Is it willing to step away for a moment?

In my experience, what may have worked for this part in the beginning may not be working for you now. I ask my clients to pay attention to the circumstances today that influence this part. When those things show up, can you step back from this part and comfort it, understand it, believe it and let it know that YOU have this?

What parts showed up for you reading this blog post? For me, joy showed up and some nervousness (as with every blog post I put together…ha).

Reach out if you are interested in unpacking your parts. I seem to work with a lot of inner critics - they often want to keep us very safe and contained, and restricted from living a better life.

Wishing you and all your lovely parts some peace!    

XO

*Please note that this is not a formal paper on IFS and barely scrapes the surface of the depth and breadth of IFS (we didn’t even talk about the types of protector parts, meditations, and how to create a stronger relationship with yourself - more on that later). Instead, this is just a piece on my thoughts and musings on my experience with IFS and how I can integrate it with Narrative.

PS. I can’t wait to learn more about how I can integrate IFS with my couples and sex therapy clients!